I can't sleep. I go through sporadic bouts of insomnia from time to time, which are typically stress-induced. If you know me, it's probably safe to say that I'm one of the most high-strung individuals you will ever meet. The thing is, I'm not high-strung for any reason in particular; at least I have yet to come to a logical explanation as to why I respond to things the way I do. But, it is what it is and I'm not going to stress over it. Haha, get it? Anyway...
So the "About Me" fill-in-the-blank sections on profiles, whether it be on Facebook or MySpace or now Blogger (since I have sooo much free time on my hands when I'm not sleeping), always get me thinking. This may or may not be sad, as it is the internet. But I always find it interesting to think about the ways in which I can define myself. And because of the nature of my ramblings, I cannot confine a description to the tiny boxes provided on my screen (even if the one on the new Facebook expands as you type).
So this is how I begin: My name is Jen...
My full name is Jennifer Anne Koch. I turned 23 on October 8 (best birthday EVER... but that's another story). I was adopted from South Korea when I was 3 months old. I grew up on the Eastern Shore of MD. No one ever believes me when I tell them that. I often assume it's because I'm Asian, but you know what they say about assuming. I also never really enjoyed living on the Eastern Shore until recently... say, within the past few years. Perhaps it's not so bad once you're old enough to drive and then really not so bad once you can drive yourself to the bar. I do enjoy going to the dock bars on a nice summer night. I'm a manager at Nike. I graduated from Washington College in May 2007 with a Bachelors in Art History and a minor in Psychology. I plan on earning a Masters in Experimental Psychology then a PhD in Cognition. I was accepted to the Experimental Psychology track of the Master's Program in Psychology at Towson University for fall 2008, but decided to defer admission until fall 2009 in order to 1) make some money 2) give my brain a mini-vacay and most importantly 3) decide if it's what I really want to do. After all, I do get a little anxious when it comes to all things involving the dreaded "C word" aka "committment." The world fascinates me. This is why I really want to go back to school. I absolutely love to learn and my time spent in the real world since graduation has been relatively less than intellectually stimulating. I have the greatest friends a girl could ask for. Seriously... the greatest. We've been there for each other through the ups and downs, the goods and bads, the thick and thin, you get the point. Regardless, I cannot imagine where I would be today, or the person I would be today, without having them in my life. I absolutely adore my parents. Sure, we disagree on things from time to time, but 98.9% of the time we get along just fine. I am an only child. This means that freshman year of college was brutal. It would be an understatement to say that sharing a living space with a stranger was not for me, or at least not at that point in my life; I had a single sophomore, junior, and senior years. Sophomore year I had a single in a four-floor girls dorm, but junior and senior years I had a single in a six-person and four-person suite, respectively. I really do miss my roommates. I'd like to think that I could live with someone now, which is good because my next big step in life will be to move out of my parents' house and get a place of my own. My most recent big step in life was buying a new car. I love love LOVE my car. It's a 2008 "Magnetic Gray" Nissan Sentra and I get 30 mpg (hells yeah!). There's something about it that makes it a very "Jen" car but I haven't figured it out yet. I started riding horses when I was 6. We sold my horses when I went to college, and I truly miss my Cara. I'll have to post a picture sometime soon... she was a cutie. I was on the Equestrian Team at WAC for two years, but it's been about three years since I've been in the saddle. Horseback riding was such a good work out... I miss being in fantastic shape. I really cut back on riding when I got into high school because I picked up volleyball and tennis. I miss playing sports all the time. Working 40-hour weeks sucksss. But I did join a 24-hour gym and try to run 3 to 5 miles at least 4 times a week. I ran a half-marathon on Sunday the 19th with one of my best friends. It took me 2 hours and 34 minutes, but I ran the whole thing (minus 2 solid stretching breaks). There's something to be said for a deep sense of accomplishment. I honestly started to panic the week prior to the run because my longest run had only been 6 miles and I felt completely unprepared. But surprisingly/fortunately I ran it without a problem and, in retrospect, probably could have ran at a slightly faster pace without any difficulty. Next time... there will definitely be a next time. I'm pretty much obsessed with this post-run feeling I've been enjoying since Sunday afternoon. What's awesome is I was never a runner, but sort of made the decision to become one... if that is even possible (apparently it is). Maybe one day I'll run a full marathon. Yeah right... I don't have the attention span to run 26 miles all at once. Music fuels me. There's something about music that gets me going. It wakes me up, it rejuvenates me, and it calms me down. Obviously, this is not the same song I'm talking about, but you know what I mean. One of my favorite things to do is go to concerts. I went to the Dispatch: Zimbabwe concert at Madison Square Garden in July 2007 with my best friend Lauren and it blew my mind... best show of my life! We ordered our tickets in January the day they became available. We saw Dave Matthews this past June at Nissan Pavillion and that show was a close second. We also saw G. Love and John Butler at Pier Six Pavillion in August, which was a great show. Eric Hutchinson opened for them, and I am now a pretty big fan (if you haven't heard his stuff, I highly recommend you check it out either on iTunes or YouTube). I was supposed to see Pepper and Slightly Stoopid the weekend after G. Love and John Butler, but plans fell through. Oh well, there's always next tour... I love to dance. And cuddle. And laugh. I'm a horrible dancer, but if I'm two drinks deep and caution gets thrown to the wind... I'm all over it! I could spend all day every day cuddling. Ok, that's a lie... I could probably only handle half a day of it, including hours spent sleeping. But I do enjoy a good cuddle sesh. I strongly believe that laughter is the best medicine. There's no better feeling than laughing until your stomach and abs ache, your cheeks are sore, and you have makeup running down your face from tears (happy tears, of course) while screaming bursts of "Stop! I can't laugh anymore! It hurts!" Just try to be sad as you're catching your breath from that... no chance. I've learned that everything--good and bad--happens for a reason, and I live my life without regrets. When it comes down to it, at the end of every day, I don't believe in regrets... I never have, and I never will. I believe that we must learn from our experiences, because they make us stronger.
Anyway, I just remembered that I set my alarm for 6am so I can go to the gym before working 10am to 7pm. I started to watch The Last Kiss (probably my current favorite movie) around 11:30pm and clearly got way too into it, or else I wouldn't still be awake. I think I enjoy the soundtrack as much as, if not more than, the movie. I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who has yet to see it, but there's just something about it that I love. Maybe it's because Zach Braff's character gets himself into a screwed up, shitty situation, but in the end everything works out. Things are forgiven although not necessarily forgotten. I guess I like that it's realistic... maybe it gives me hope. Not to say that I've ever been in that kind of situation, because I haven't, but it's refreshing to watch a movie that isn't the stereotypical "Happily ever after." Movies that end like that make me want to vomit, I guess because I'm a bit of a cynic. Cynic or not, I do believe in love and romance. I might even go as far as to say that I believe in soulmates, but only because I've met mine, and I have four... my best friends are my soulmates. Perhaps that's why I'm not chomping at the bit to get into a serious relationship and marry and have kids--I'm quite happy going out with my girls. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like something was missing, but that's another thing I refuse to stress about. Whatever happens, happens. If I fall ridiculously head over heels in love tomorrow, so be it, but I'm not going to occupy every waking moment of my life looking for someone to be with. I mean what kind of existence would that be? I'm going to enjoy my moments because nothing can be taken for granted. After all, "Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
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